The “Dirty Low Down”

 

Courtesy of Zeven Design

He does not understand
That pain is not a button. 
Turning it off is a wish
I would love to see come true.

The depth of things
For people not dealing with them
Is often a place where shadows hide
And if shadows are lurking, 
They avoid those places.
Who wants a creepy shadow
Following them anyway?

“Can’t you just take
Something for it
And move on?”
I want to be crass and say
The bubbling of trite remarks
That fill my head like,
“Yes, because two pain pills
Will quickly make the
Gnawing pain in my leg
Disappear forever!” Or,
“Ooh, I never thought of that!
Yes! You are a genius! Thank you!”

But, I stand back
On what is left of
Young, strong legs, and I say,
“There is no instacure. 

What I take today, I
Will have to take tomorrow
And the next day and the next
And I am already addicted to
You, soooo.”

He walks away from
My rant.

For Christmas, my co-worker
Bought me an athletic shirt
That says, “If only sarcasm
Burned calories.”
I know that she does not know
That I need sarcasm in that place
In order to stay sane. 
It is a survival tactic. 
I lean into the bones
Of a shitty industry
That takes your money,
But stalls on paying your medical claims.

I am fighting for people
Who do not know me
For reasons they may never understand. 

I am fighting the mammoths
Of a nation who profit
While posing as non-profit.
They take everything;
Your money.
Your time.
And, your health.
They still want more.

In the bloody business
Of making things work
For the advantageous, weakness
Is a sign of derailment
And you are liable
To cause an accident.
This is not allowed —
Not when there are many more
Lives to silently kill over time
As they gradually hike up
Premiums and blame
You for aging.

This is their gift to you —
Merry Christmas
And Happy New Year!
It is never going
To change.

---

Originally Published in A Cornered Gurl via Medium.